This is the thing... 2008 is coming to an end, and although I have never been so broke or single, I can honestly say, I can't remember the last time I was this happy and content. If you would have asked me six months into 2008 how I would feel about this, I would have said it blew chunks. But it ended up being a year of healing, happiness and a whole lot of fun.
I make no New Years resolution. If 2008 taught me anything, it taught me to just be happy in the moment. You can't control what life's gonna throw at you, so why try?
I have great friends and an awesome family. What else do you need? It's not so much that I'm waiting, I'm just not searching. And damn, that feels great!
Peace-out 2008,
K-Fresh
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
My Celebrity Playlist
This is the thing... I have no desire what -so-ever to be famous, but the only reason I would ever want to be would be to make a celebrity playlist on iTunes. So , I'll just make one anyways... here goes.
1. Al Green, Tired of Being Alone - "Because he makes you believe it."
2. The Beatles, Eleanor Rigby - "Takes you to the place where all the lonely people are. It's depressing and uplifting, at the same time."
3. Ben Harper, Woman In You - "This song makes me wanna make babies. Preferably with Ben Harper."
4. Blues Traveler, Hook - "Great song. Always reminds me of Chuck."
5. The Bravery, Honest Mistake - "Gives me a sense of something new."
6. The Cure, Lovesong -"Always makes me wanna make out teen-angst-emo-style."
7. Deftones, Digital Bath - "The closest thing to dreaming awake."
8. Elton John, Bennie and the Jets - "It's just the song."
9. Green Day, Basketcase -"So obsessed with them in Junior High, and I credit Billy Joe for my love of crooked teeth."
10. Incubus, Blood on the Ground - "It's all about Incubus."
11. The Jackson Five, Who's Lovin' You - "Anyone who really knows me, knows I sang this song to death growing up. It's also my first crush on a song."
12. Kanye West, Flashing Lights - "I don't care where I am, this song comes on, I'm dancin'!"
13. Lauryn Hill, Used to Love Him - "I feel this song deep in my soul."
14. Mos Def, Hip Hop - "Listen to the lyrics and then try and tell me hip hop's not poetry."
15. Neil Diamond, Sweet Caroline - "This song makes me wanna move to Vegas and be a dirty lounge singer."
16. Biggie, Juicy - "My all-time favorite rap song, I love Biggie for his honesty and poetry."
17. Stevie Wonder, Boogie On Reggae Woman - "Give me Stevie or give me death."
18. Weezer, Say it Ain't So - "I'm not the biggest Weezer fan, but this song is RAD! It's also the best song to make guitar sounds with your mouth."
19. 2Pac, How Do You Want It - "I miss 90's gansta rap."
20. Lupe Fiasco, Real - "Gave me hope for new hip hop. Plus, he's a black skater boy with a brain...gotta love that!"
21. A Perfect Circle, 3 Libras - "Truly beautiful song. It also got me out of my "Black Kathie" music box."
22. Anthony Hamilton, Sista Big Bones - "He gets it."
K-Fresh
1. Al Green, Tired of Being Alone - "Because he makes you believe it."
2. The Beatles, Eleanor Rigby - "Takes you to the place where all the lonely people are. It's depressing and uplifting, at the same time."
3. Ben Harper, Woman In You - "This song makes me wanna make babies. Preferably with Ben Harper."
4. Blues Traveler, Hook - "Great song. Always reminds me of Chuck."
5. The Bravery, Honest Mistake - "Gives me a sense of something new."
6. The Cure, Lovesong -"Always makes me wanna make out teen-angst-emo-style."
7. Deftones, Digital Bath - "The closest thing to dreaming awake."
8. Elton John, Bennie and the Jets - "It's just the song."
9. Green Day, Basketcase -"So obsessed with them in Junior High, and I credit Billy Joe for my love of crooked teeth."
10. Incubus, Blood on the Ground - "It's all about Incubus."
11. The Jackson Five, Who's Lovin' You - "Anyone who really knows me, knows I sang this song to death growing up. It's also my first crush on a song."
12. Kanye West, Flashing Lights - "I don't care where I am, this song comes on, I'm dancin'!"
13. Lauryn Hill, Used to Love Him - "I feel this song deep in my soul."
14. Mos Def, Hip Hop - "Listen to the lyrics and then try and tell me hip hop's not poetry."
15. Neil Diamond, Sweet Caroline - "This song makes me wanna move to Vegas and be a dirty lounge singer."
16. Biggie, Juicy - "My all-time favorite rap song, I love Biggie for his honesty and poetry."
17. Stevie Wonder, Boogie On Reggae Woman - "Give me Stevie or give me death."
18. Weezer, Say it Ain't So - "I'm not the biggest Weezer fan, but this song is RAD! It's also the best song to make guitar sounds with your mouth."
19. 2Pac, How Do You Want It - "I miss 90's gansta rap."
20. Lupe Fiasco, Real - "Gave me hope for new hip hop. Plus, he's a black skater boy with a brain...gotta love that!"
21. A Perfect Circle, 3 Libras - "Truly beautiful song. It also got me out of my "Black Kathie" music box."
22. Anthony Hamilton, Sista Big Bones - "He gets it."
K-Fresh
Friday, December 5, 2008
Game Changer
This is the thing... There are good days, there are bad days, and then there are the game changer days. Today was a game changer day. I will forever be changed because of this day and I want to write about it.
I've had a few game changer days in my life, so I know when it happens. Sometimes it's huge events and sometimes it's just some words you needed to hear at that exact moment. The first was when I became a believer in Jesus, which changed everything about who I am - my purpose, my attitude, love, hope and just an overall sense of relief.
The second was my step-dad Chuck dying. I loved the way he loved. If I could love half as good as him that would be an accomplishment. He was on his death bed, knowing it, in pain, tubes coming out of everywhere, never complained, just wanted us to know how much he loved us. He couldn't speak so he wrote in a notebook to my Mom that whole week in the hospital how much he loved her. After that, I knew there was no way I could ever marry a man until he loved me like Chuck loved my Mom. And if I die before that happens - so be it. You can't witness that and ever settle for anything less.
The third was after a breakup with a boyfriend of five years. I was driving and flipping through the radio stations. I stopped on some talk radio station, and right at that moment the lady (I have no clue who she was) said "people who always try and save people, really need to save themselves." And right then I decided to save myself.
The fourth, and the one that happened today, was the five-hour, unexpected, conversation I had with my Mom this morning. A lot of personal things were said, that needed to be said, and needed to come from my Mom. I literally could feel years of pain in my soul being healed at that very moment. I won't go into everything, but one specific thing she said that really hit me hard was,"God made nothing about you to be invisible." Because of that, I am forever changed by the way I view myself and the specific qualities God chose just for me.
Forever Changed,
K-Fresh
I've had a few game changer days in my life, so I know when it happens. Sometimes it's huge events and sometimes it's just some words you needed to hear at that exact moment. The first was when I became a believer in Jesus, which changed everything about who I am - my purpose, my attitude, love, hope and just an overall sense of relief.
The second was my step-dad Chuck dying. I loved the way he loved. If I could love half as good as him that would be an accomplishment. He was on his death bed, knowing it, in pain, tubes coming out of everywhere, never complained, just wanted us to know how much he loved us. He couldn't speak so he wrote in a notebook to my Mom that whole week in the hospital how much he loved her. After that, I knew there was no way I could ever marry a man until he loved me like Chuck loved my Mom. And if I die before that happens - so be it. You can't witness that and ever settle for anything less.
The third was after a breakup with a boyfriend of five years. I was driving and flipping through the radio stations. I stopped on some talk radio station, and right at that moment the lady (I have no clue who she was) said "people who always try and save people, really need to save themselves." And right then I decided to save myself.
The fourth, and the one that happened today, was the five-hour, unexpected, conversation I had with my Mom this morning. A lot of personal things were said, that needed to be said, and needed to come from my Mom. I literally could feel years of pain in my soul being healed at that very moment. I won't go into everything, but one specific thing she said that really hit me hard was,"God made nothing about you to be invisible." Because of that, I am forever changed by the way I view myself and the specific qualities God chose just for me.
Forever Changed,
K-Fresh
Monday, December 1, 2008
I am an Alien
So this is the thing... I'm a Christian, and although I was raised in a Christian home, I became one on my own free will. God and Jesus have never been a hard thing for me to buy into. Honestly, they are the only reason I have gotten through some of the darkest times of my life; and they are the only things that makes sense in this world that makes none at all. With that said, I have always had a hard time with religion, and frankly, most Christians.
Where's the honesty? This world is one big, fat, depressing place. And I feel like I'm an Alien here, trying to live in a place that I hate and isn't my home. I just can't bring myself to buy into it all - follow all these steps and rules and your life will be perfect, as long as you never cuss again. Look, I'm not knocking people who follow all the rules, I'm just saying - am I the only one who thinks people suck at love and care more about what age you are when you get married, than actually waiting to get married to the right person, for the right reasons? Am I the only one who cringes when some people make it sound like they found Jesus and now they will never have another bad day for the rest of their life? And singling out specific sins and making it seem like the fastest way to hell? Life is hard enough without all the added pressure of people trying to form you into what everyone else is, or has, when really they don't even know, or want, it themselves.
When did believing in God become a lifestyle instead of a personal relationship that is unique to each person? Why do I beat myself up because my life hasn't turned out like my other Christian friends? When did being a individual become wrong? Where my other Aliens at?
K-Fresh aka Donnie Darko
hahaha!
Where's the honesty? This world is one big, fat, depressing place. And I feel like I'm an Alien here, trying to live in a place that I hate and isn't my home. I just can't bring myself to buy into it all - follow all these steps and rules and your life will be perfect, as long as you never cuss again. Look, I'm not knocking people who follow all the rules, I'm just saying - am I the only one who thinks people suck at love and care more about what age you are when you get married, than actually waiting to get married to the right person, for the right reasons? Am I the only one who cringes when some people make it sound like they found Jesus and now they will never have another bad day for the rest of their life? And singling out specific sins and making it seem like the fastest way to hell? Life is hard enough without all the added pressure of people trying to form you into what everyone else is, or has, when really they don't even know, or want, it themselves.
When did believing in God become a lifestyle instead of a personal relationship that is unique to each person? Why do I beat myself up because my life hasn't turned out like my other Christian friends? When did being a individual become wrong? Where my other Aliens at?
K-Fresh aka Donnie Darko
hahaha!
Sunday, November 30, 2008
OMC, OMD, OME...
So just in case you're not down with the 12 year-old-little-girl-lingo, OMC = Oh My Charlie, OMD = Oh My Donnie and OME, of course = Oh My Edward. All of which are referencing Twilight or NKOTB. And if you need me to explain either of those, you need to just Google it!
So here's the thing... I'm 28, getting closer to 29 everyday, and my past couple of weeks have been filled with teen angst movies and concerts, waiting in line for the midnight showing of Twilight (and laughing harder at the people sitting next to me in the movie than the actual movie), or dancing my ass off to "(You Got) The Right Stuff."
It's embarrassing and awesome all at the same time! But really, it just reminded me that I'm never growing up. Life's too damn short to take yourself too serious. Just because you're not a kid anymore, doesn't mean you lose your imagination, or craving for fun. And it definitely doesn't mean you lose the ability to have hard-core crushes on boys in books or middle-aged balding men in "boy bands."
OMBB (Oh My Boys in Books),
K-Fresh
So here's the thing... I'm 28, getting closer to 29 everyday, and my past couple of weeks have been filled with teen angst movies and concerts, waiting in line for the midnight showing of Twilight (and laughing harder at the people sitting next to me in the movie than the actual movie), or dancing my ass off to "(You Got) The Right Stuff."
It's embarrassing and awesome all at the same time! But really, it just reminded me that I'm never growing up. Life's too damn short to take yourself too serious. Just because you're not a kid anymore, doesn't mean you lose your imagination, or craving for fun. And it definitely doesn't mean you lose the ability to have hard-core crushes on boys in books or middle-aged balding men in "boy bands."
OMBB (Oh My Boys in Books),
K-Fresh
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